L.J. Holmes

L.J. Holmes
In her many Guises.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Angels In Passing

This has been a very sorrowful few weeks. several Angels have been called home, leaving the rest of us to look around in numbed confusion...expecting to see the faces of those Angels with every breath we take, but sadly disappointed because they are in a much HIGHER place than our mere mortal eyes can discern.

First was the daughter of a very dear friend. Michelle, my 75 year old friend's daughter, had been bravely battling the increasingly debilitating disease of MS. Michelle contracted the disease when she was 21...she died over thirty years later.

I was blessed to know her through the stories told to me by her 75 plus year old Mother...a wonderful woman who'd survived the London Blitzkrieg...complete with British accent, that I met after my own car accident eleven days (11) days after 9/11. Because of my accident and the injuries to my eyes from flying glass, two spinal cord injuries, nerve damage to my right leg, and tearing of my left hip that made using the gas and brake pedals "challenging"...I was forced to use Handicapped and Elderly transportation.

What I had thought of as the worst thing that had ever happened to me, turned into one of the most soul enriching events because through Winnie, I came to know her daughter, Michelle. As her body continued to ravage her mobility, Michelle left a legacy of beauty in words she created on her computer, programmed to allow her to use a pointer held in her mouth.

I cannot imagine what it had been like to be a vibrant woman then endure the slow, insidious degeneration of this disease while her brain remained as vital and alert as ever.

We all thought Michelle was going to die last Christmas, but even though she was now down to having only the ability to move her lips and blink her eyes, Michelle wanted to live. Her love was huge for all those of us who were lucky enough to know of her, and those who had been so blessed were equally saddened by the progressive horror of MS.

Again, I count myself blessed to have known this awe inspiring woman who accomplished AMAZING feats through the words of the creative beauty she leaves behind despite the inertia that kept her bound to her hospice bed...words that bring tears and humbling joy to those lucky enough to read Michelle's words.

Her legacy lives on as does her beauty of spirit. We may not see the physical shell that was Michelle, but we all carry a piece of the angel she always will be deep in the essence of who we are now. Love you, Michelle...Bless you Sweetheart.

Ed McMahon...we all grew up with Ed McMahon...even before he became the quintessential side-kick for Johnny Carson. His "HERE'S JOHNNY!!!!" echoes and reverberates inside ALL of us. He touched the entire world.

During his last year, he struggled with the ignominy of having his very security threatened because of too many bills. How he reached such a point, is not important. That others stepped forward to aid him in retaining the dignity he so continuously expressed is a testament to him being yet another angel sent here to make our lives a little bit better. Who among us did not feel happy after the Tonight Show with Johnny signed off each night? Who among us cannot remember favorite skits performed by Ed and Johnny that no matter how much time passes, still have the ability to bring smiles to our otherwise difficult lives?

He was not perfect...but then the best of God's angels here on Earth are angels because they bring joy to others despite their own difficult challenges...challenges that would reduce the rest of us to giving in to the sense of hopelessness that he continued to battle and rise above. Bless you Ed, and thank you for so many rich years of your talents.

Farrah Fawcett...Your story made me weep...your death, though not unexpected, was still heart wrenching. Your journey, fighting cancer, tore at me because you so richly described the battle against cancer that so many of us have silently, secretly, with shame, gone through. You showed the world the layers of extreme courage required to go one-on-one against the Big "C". You showed the tremendous amount of pain fighting it forces upon those battling this horrible disease. You showed the bottomless wellspring of love and compassion you felt for your family, friends, and all of the many anonymous fellow warriors in the battle against this relentless evil.

Your talents in the past showed you were more than just a gorgeous body with an incredible mane of hair. As a survivor of sexual abuse, your portrayal in the BURNING BED was so realistic, I could not watch it. That portrayal was enough to tell me I would also not be able to watch the one where you turn on your rapist...even though that would be empowering...I still could not watch what was, for all intents are purposes...too close to home.

Given that, I am amazed that I could watch FARRAH'S STORY...but I am eternally glad I did. You bravely showed what so many of us keep hidden...for whatever reasons...you showed the world that everyone who battles cancer is a soldier who deserves the BRONZE STAR, the PURPLE HEART, and every other medal given to warriors battling an evil foe.

An Angel...you played one of Charlie's...but Farrah, Charlie was a fictitious concept created by the late Aaron Spelling...you, dear lady, are a REAL ANGEL, and I for one, am humbly grateful for the halo you wore while you shared this Earth with us.

Bless you, Dear Farrah, and may you now be pain free and enraptured within the arms of Heaven's Glory.

I cannot ignore another passing...though I do not look upon this person with the same gratitude and respect that I feel towards Michelle, Ed, and Farrah. I am, of course, speaking of Michael Jackon.

Michael Jackon WAS a musical genius...but genius does not translate into majesty. Abused as a child...and I DO believe Michael's claims...but as with many abused, the cycle continues and the abused becomes the abuser. He claimed that there was nothing wrong with sharing his bed...lovingly...with children. No adult man should share his bed with children...and yes, the parents of the children were wrong too...but that does NOT mitigate Michael's own deeds.

I know the Jackson family wants to bury their heads, but Michael claimed the appropriateness of his actions in his own words and on film...hard to discount that.

Michael Jackson dangerously dangled his own child from a high window with a precarious hold upon the baby he called "Blanket". That cannot be disputed since the video of this act made world-wide news and is replayed over and over again. Anyone else would have lost their children and been forced into counseling for this one deed...but NOT Michael Jackson.

The Children: Prince Michael I, Paris Michael Katherine, and Prince Michael II (Blanket)...if a DNA test was done on these children DESPITE Michael's claim that he had Debbie Rowe for the first two and an anonymous surrogate for the third (Blanket) impregnated with his, Michael's sperm...would prove they are NOT Michael's.

Biology is exacting...Michael Jackson...despite his years of facial and skin tonal alterations, did NOT have Caucasian characteristics in his genes. Joe Jackson and Katherine Jackson are BOTH as dark skinned as Michael was up until he'd performed the video for THRILLER and many of his subsequent hits. A skin disease would not have altered his chromosomes to the point where the three children he claimed to be his biologically, show not a smidgen of the darkness that is at the very nuclei of his genetic makeup...

And no amount of buying off people alters the fact that Michael's endless fascination with being PETER PAN and surrounding himself with children, changes the basic profile of what he was...he was an abused child who grew up to become the abuser.

I know there are those who are going to argue and say...he was found NOT GUILTY...but the defense put the mother on trial...and yes, her acts were suspicious...but ultimately, Michael WAS guilty of corrupting minors by admitting, on tape, that he allowed children to sleep in his bed and saw nothing wrong with it. At the very minimum, that's contributing to the delinquency of minors...at the worst...it's pedophilia.

So while I honor the talents of the ARTIST that was Michael Jackson, the man whose Peter Pan Complex allowed him to admit and then challenge anyone who found it inappropriate that he shared his bed with children fits the profile of a pedophile. Pedophiles never think they are doing anything wrong.

Michael, I wish you healing now that you have crossed over. You were forced to face the images from your life...feeling the harm you caused from the point of view of your victim as part of your Orientation of Passing. No longer can you hide behind the "little boy voice" or the protestations of your loving innocence. One day, you will earn your halo, but that hasn't happened yet...and is going to require a LOT of Soul work...NOT SOUL TRAIN work...but work on the spiritual essence that we all take with us to God when we leave our Earthly bodies.

I truly wish you well, and Bless you for the work you have YET to accomplish.