L.J. Holmes

L.J. Holmes
In her many Guises.

Saturday, November 2, 2013



LBL: Things are getting REALLY MESSY in Camelot. Here  on behalf of the good people left behind while the Knights seek out the legendary Holy Grail, is Lady Mouthea Honksalot.

M'Lady, the mike is yours:

LMH: Oh Arthur! How could you have let your brains fade just because of a pretty face?

Merlin where are you? Why aren't you here protecting all us Camelot-eyans from the likes of...{GULP}...the Bumswatters?

Hello All, I'm Lady Honksalot, and yes, I was THAT Lady-in-Waiting for the now convent exiled 

Guinevere former queen of what was once upon a time, a glorious land known to one and all as the 

Land Called Camelot. 

Those days are gone. Rumor has it Arthur is lolling about in Avalon, his fantastic sword, the glittery 

EXCALIBUR has been returned to the Lady-in-the-Lake... Won't it rest in there?

And our glorious, even if he DID snog behind our King's back, 

Sir Lancelot and the rest of the 

Knigths of the Round, have gone off to towns, far and wide, looking for the promised goblet of Jesus' that 

Holy Grail....though haven't a clue what's that's supposed to do for us here in Camelot...ooops...Shoot I HATE our new name!

Because of all those things...Oh ARTHUR! How COULD you do this to us...we are now at the mercy of those smelly-gusters, the 

Bumswatters! They've changed our name to {yuck} Sidderpot in honor of their former jobs, can you believe it!

Yep, you guessed it our chamberpots are overflowing, new diamonds are not appearing anywhere in the civilized world, and now there's a threat from our former ally Fridgeonia's 

Queen Frostreak. She's going to send her vicious 

dragon to turn us into crispy critters because we broke our trade agreement. 

What trade agreement? No body can find any documentation about a trade partnership with that lady of ice and dragons.

Merlin, this is Lady Honksalot. Please come back from wherever you deserted Arthur and Camelot to vacation at, before Bum and his lazy idiots totally destroy all of us?

Seriously, Arthur, Mortimer de Mortimer, 

is our new champion and breaks out in hives when he passes anything remotely resembling armor. If you don't help, we're all gonna end up dragon tinder!

So if any of you out there know where Merlin is, would you send him a Wing-a-gram and let him know Camelot NEEDS him and hee needs to HURRY!

LBL: If anyone in my listening audience has any clue to the whereabouts of that wily Wizard, please contact me at LADYBUG NEWS right here or you can reach Lady Honksalot care of the Sidderpot Underground Express.

Speed is needed. 

By the time DIAMONDS FROM THE ROUGHAGE releases from Muse It Up Publishing sometime this month, it'll be too late to stop that mean-mouthed dragon, Nion from torching one and all.

Now on to the weather....

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